


In the Stillness of Remembering what (we) had

by quinzelvy



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cottagecore, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn, switch between past/present, they'll get there i promise, well friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinzelvy/pseuds/quinzelvy
Summary: Pamela refuses to let Harley back into her life after being burned one too many times. She's content with living her days in solitude but maybe close quarters will allow them to reminisce about what they once shared.cottagecore au!
Relationships: Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Pamela Isley & Harleen Quinzel, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Comments: 44
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! This is my first time doing this, like, ever. I hope you all like reading as much as i enjoyed writing it. :)

Pamela awoke at sunrise, as she tends to nowadays. 

It’s been a long time since she has dwelled on any ‘evil’ escapades. It’s not that humanity is well passed saving…but it’s partly that.

She had her latest check-in with the bat yesterday. 

“I trust all is going well, Ivy?” 

She can certainly applaud his tendency to get to the point, small talk was never really her thing anyway. When Batman wasn’t sticking his nose in women’s business he made for someone she could just barely tolerate. Although that could be giving him too much credit. 

She has a home, but she is still situated near that godforsaken city. But far enough to where she isn’t awoken by gunshots in the middle of the night. Pamela isn’t one for self pity but how was she to change the minds of those close-minded pricks without ending up in Arkham?! She’d never fathom the thought of giving up on the environment but she has opted to stay under the radar rather than orchestrating grand gestures only to be deemed criminally insane time and time again. She crafts proposals now. How painfully watered down she has become. Pamela is well aware but she is happy to reap the benefits of being on Batman’s good side. He has connections in high places…she thinks it’s rather idiotic that a full grown man can prance around in a bat suit and then personally hand over billionaire Bruce Wayne’s direct contact information but if this is how she can guarantee a greener future then so be it. 

She has a secluded cottage. Some Wayne property that he was willing to fork over if she would be so inclined to not kill any board members for unintentional wrong-doings. She understands that hefty change takes time, she’d much rather that humans weren’t ignorant so she wouldn’t even have to force her hand but things are different now. Every Wednesday she makes her way up Wayne tower to sit in on business proceedings. She often interjects with strategies to reduce the detrimental impacts they would inevitably make. And with the threat of her means of coercion she is often appeased. 

She hasn’t seen the inside of an Arkham cell in god knows how long. She can’t help but feel she is where she belongs. Sappy and a bit embarrassing but she rather enjoys her life now. Her cottage is humble, it’s positioned within acres of green. In the back she is equipped with a greenhouse, it’s where she keeps her lab. She hasn’t totally lost touch with her roots. The cottage is surrounded with lavishly planted flower gardens. The plethora of plants envelopes her abode. It’s navigated with stone paths, she has a lake, she’s never had one of those before. The plants and her coexist, she finds joy in letting them dictate their land. She is happy to sit back and bask in their restorative nature. 

Batman always finds her outside. She’d much rather be alone but even she longs for company sometimes. How upsetting that it exclusively comes in the form of a brooding do-gooder. While at one point in time it was a nightly occurrence, he now graces Pamela with his presence weekly. It’s always the same, although sometimes he is willing to tolerate the complaints Pamela voices when it comes to her relationship with the Wayne corporation. 

She’s not in the mood for a heart to heart today and she is hoping the expression she is displaying is enough for the bat to pick up on. Of course, no such luck. She opts to continue her reading, effectively tuning him out. She’s had sufficient training in the board room. She sips her tea, and scans the pages without so much as a look upwards. If Batman was bothered he didn’t do enough to show it. At least to her. 

“Okay, Ivy?”

It was the first time she spared a glance up. She didn’t do more than produce a tight lipped smile and nod of approval if only to shut him up. All he did was draw on and on again about the same thing over and over again. Yes, she believed this arrangement was working, no she doesn’t want to go back to Arkham, yes she’ll give her regards to Mr. Wayne, no she hasn’t beheaded any scummy CEOs. You’d think she would have been awarded a bit more credit for not drowning wealthy men in the same chemicals that they polluted the waters with! They are rotting behind bars now and for her that means a bit more to her now than it did in the past. She’d call it change but he’d call it growth so she’’d never dare to admit it. 

Batman left and she was delighted to return to her novel unbothered once again. The soothing sounds of the riverbed lulled her into a state of content. She had no plans tomorrow, after a week of drafting initiatives to promote sustainability rather than squander it she could not welcome the weekend with happier spirits. She would not let any painful reminders she associated with Batman dampen her mood. She retired soon after, bidding adieu to her plants, assuring all of them that she’d see them in the morning. 

-

She has difficulty falling asleep sometimes, she’s often plagued by the tokens of her past. Not only does she find her mind straying to them but it’s when she’s desperate for tranquility is when it tends to hit her in abundance. Last night was one of those nights. She felt ill with the feeling of hands on her person. She hated him, she’d never stop hating him. How one soulless individual could strip her from herself. She despised him with all that she was and all that she’d ever be. She knows her wishes of acquittal are in vain but she longed for her mind to stop granting him residence. Especially now when she can see the fields of content within her grasp. He will always be there to ground Pam to her misery. Fuck him for that. 

She awoke accompanied by the absence of sound. The brilliant gleam of the sun was enough to wipe her regret of forgetting to draw the curtains last night. She dressed in garbs appropriate for a full day of garden tending. It evoked a happy sigh from Pamela. She reminds herself that this is enough every morning when she prepares her tea. 

Opening her front door she smiles despite herself. Living without the disruption of humanity certainly does wonders for her spirits. She exchanges pleasantries with all of the plant beings she shares her land with. She strolled though her gardens to confirm that all was well. She basks in the glow of their states. Almost completely, without help from her, the plants are happy to dictate their own means of growth. Her garden is bursting at the seams. The beds are ridden with an array of colors, vines stretched upon the roofs of her veranda, entangled in the planks of her steps. Pleasing plant combinations communicate with one another and live harmoniously within the walls of Pamela’s own personal Eden.  
Her day passed uneventfully. And she once again found herself under the plant ridden roof of her porch milking the remains of her novel. She looks up with a start after hearing the engines of whatever kind of bat plane he is flying nowadays. She really has to wonder where he finds the funds. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” She found toying with his dark persona rather amusing. 

“Ivy, we discussed this yesterday, I brought her.” 

“Pardon?” She knits her eyebrows because he may as well be communicating in an alien language. 

Then the ‘her’ in question peeks her head out from behind the unnecessary cape garb. 

“You cannot be serious.” She scoffs in his direction. 

“Isley, I hardly think this is the burden you’re making it out to be.” He quipped back. 

She shut her book and rose from her seated position, trekking the few steps to stand at the top of the stairs lining her porch. 

She huffed in disapproval, “no”. 

Eye to eye with him she curled her lip. 

“I’m struggling to understand, you agreed yesterday.” he always responds with no infliction in his voice, it nearly drives her insane. 

Meanwhile she was having trouble responding without pure venom dictating her words.

“I said, no.” 

Only then did the girl speak up, “Aw come on Ives, for old time’s sake?” 

Pamela snapped her head at the girl and did little but glare. Effectively shutting her up she resumed cowering behind the Batman. 

He spoke with a finality in his voice, “I’m leaving her here with you. This is little to ask for after everything I’ve-“ 

“No! You don’t get to do that. I have gone well above and beyond with proving that I can be an asset. I have done my time, this is just cruel punishment.” 

The blonde behind Batman deflated noticeably at that. 

He leveled with her, “I have faith, Isley. The clown is out of the picture. She can aid you in your experiments, allow her to disband from her inclination for crime. I think your gardens can heal her.” 

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. juvenile, but she was allowed to express her distaste in whatever way she wanted. 

“I want more pull at Wayne tech.” 

He nodded. 

“All company cars are electric from now on. Renewable energy. I better be blinded by the amount of solar panels installed the next time i’m in the office. 

The bat nodded and turned to leave but not without a warning glare in her direction.  
“And no more plastic fucking straws in the café! It’s 2020 for christ sake. Tell Bruce to resurface from under his billion dollar rock.” Pamela hurled at his back. 

He replied with his back turned, “See you soon. Same as always, no fatalities.”

“No promises.” 

The blonde piped up, “Hi-“

Pamela hastily turned her back to her and swung open her front door. Without a word she fetched linens and set them on the couch.

She fought the urge to place a glance in her direction while explaining the layout to the blonde. In as few words as possible she was able to sum up the means of her abode. Bidding goodnight without bothering to wait for a response she turned her back on her and retired to her room. 

The woman Batman so generously dropped on her doorstep had left Pamela scorned before. She’d never relinquish that power to anyone ever again. Vulnerability is weakness. She almost laughs at the thought of trusting someone wholly and unequivocally. It’s silly to think that there once was a time where she would look at Harley without the urge to strangle her. She’s still convinced it’s some kind of joke hung about by him, something akin to his dry wit, perhaps? She fails to find it humorous. 

It won’t be hard to keep her distance. Not that she needs to. She would never let the girl teeter on the bounds of anything, let alone friendship, ever again. Pamela has wised up well beyond the need for that. She’ll just prove to him that the girl can hold a bat without bashing someone’s head in and Harley will be out of her hair before her magnolias can even think about blooming.


	2. unwanted house guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on the shorter side but here's some harley

Harley had been on her own for awhile now. Her and Joker called it splits ages ago. Not that she expects any one to keep track of that stuff but it was kind of a big deal. He was so controlling, so vindictive, so….joker. She can’t even think of him without an accompanying feeling of disgust. 

It’s so refreshing. No one ever tells you how refreshing it is! Is shedding ties with someone supposed to make you feel akin to removing barbells off of your chest? Because that’s what it felt like. 

She can just stroll now. She strolls! And if the weather is right and she happens to cross paths with an asshole and if sometimes she feels inclined to take out his knee then she felt like she had a right to do so!

She lives in a quaint apartment right smack dab in the center of Gotham. She lives on the top floor. And of course the one tiny elevator is perpetually out of service. Her super is real lenient. She appreciates that. The outdoor staircase is her favorite spot, the cool air lets her think.

Where once she felt like she was battling her own brain for headspace, now she felt balanced. She couldn’t really gripe with an explanation but she was content. There was no clear jut separating Harleen Quinzel from Harley Quinn anymore and she liked that. There was no telling where Harleen ended and Harley began. She’s just her. She knows better than to thank Joker for it. This was all her. 

Sometimes Harley dwells on the past but she isn’t fond of all of her memories. She comes to terms with the fact that she’s wronged a lot of people. But ever insistent on finding the bright side, she lives above a reallllly good bagel shop now. 

Harley’s latest stint in crime was a bar fight. That’s actually chalking it up very lightly. She may have gone a bit overboard but hey, those men will never look at a lady the wrong way ever again and if it results in taking a joy ride over to Arkham with Batsy then she was okay with that. Only this time they didn’t hover near the desolate street she had grown familiar with…instead he began to fly her OUT of the city. 

Growing only slightly weary Harley broke the silence, “Uh Bats, remind me again. Isn’t Arkham the exact opposite way of where we seem to be headin’?”

“Trying something new. It’s clear Arkham isn’t effective in its practices for you. You’re not evil, Quinn. Maybe you can redirect your violent nature into something more beneficial.” 

She stared out the window as she watched the lights fade into nothingness. 

\- 

_Her._

She almost couldn’t believe it. She was standing right in front of her! She had half a mind to run up and envelop the red head into her arms. The half of mind that restricted her from doing so allowed her to recall the last time she had seen her. The Bat probably didn’t know about them or else he wouldn’t have hauled her ass to Ivy’s little fairytale cottage. 

The last time she saw her…it must have been years ago. She can’t imagine that she’d be Ivy’s first choice when it comes to roommates. Ivy clearly didn’t know about this arrangement and if the sour expression on her face wasn’t enough of an indication she outright refused to house Harley. 

Honestly anything beats a prison cell. But sharing a living space with a woman who would be happy to use your organs as fertilizer? Maybe that could give the cell a run for its money. At least the guards wouldn’t be as willing to poison her food. 

Harley watched her every move. She’d like to think she was behaving in a strategic manner, choosing when to jump in. In truth she wouldn’t be inclined to bare the weight of whatever wrath Ivy could potentially have in store. She couldn’t pinpoint an exact turning point but she knew enough to know when she wasn’t wanted. 

Harley barely managed to get a word out without either being silenced by a glare or cut off completely. After following her into the house and receiving the sheets she was left floundering in the living room. Un-welcomed and clearly unwanted she began to make her bed. 

She flopped in. Allowing herself to take in the interior, she made a mental note to praise Ivy’s (unbeknownst to her) decorating passion. That is…if she’d ever let her get two words out in her vicinity.

She couldn’t help but release a small sigh. It didn’t always used to be like this. In fact it never WAS like this. She honestly didn’t know what she did to be so far wedged on Ivy’s bad side. If you asked Harley it’s totally, completely undeserved. 

Frustrated, and suffering in the blistering heat of the living room, Harley kicked down the sheets. She passed out soon after not even bothering to fathom what she would say to Ivy. If Ivy doesn’t want a friend then she sure as hell doesn’t need one either. 

What could this even entail? Trimming back a bush? Batsy’ll be back in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my gosh. you guys have no idea how excited i am to write them together now. the angst..the hurt...the comfort...all the other good stuff..ugh! see y'all soon :)


	3. cold greeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the little things

Pamela awoke in a state of distress. She already felt uneasy, a certain someone’s presence alone she presumed. She could not believe the nerve of that girl. Showing up to her sanctuary, sleeping in her home, how does she even begin to reason? And don’t get her started on Batman. What kind of logic does a grown man have to posses to think that a licensed psychiatrist turned lovesick puppy could alter her criminal tendencies by spending time in _her_ garden.

Sure, it may have worked on some level for Pamela but she is obviously different. They are not the same. She knows it, Batman knows it, and for the love of all things green, Harley knows it! She must have done something to piss off some suits at Wayne corp. 

Rising from her bed, she throws on her clothes for the day. A simple t-shirt with roomy cotton pants and a pension for yard work in mind. She fastens her hair out of her face. Strapping on her shoes she deeply sighs before opening her bedroom door. Psyching herself up for an inevitable day of discomfort she finds Harley sprawled on her living room floor. She scolds herself for even entertaining the thought of a giggle. Never mind having to stifle one. She heads outside, silently stepping out. 

Pamela busies herself with her plants. Cursing herself for having to deal with this colossal pain in the ass.

-

Harley stirs on the floor. She rolls over in an attempt at relieving the various cricks in her back. No such luck. She figures there’s a reason people sleep in beds! Audibly yawning before clasping a hand over her mouth because she remembers where she’s situated, she darts her eyes and takes in her surroundings. No cause for alarm. 

Rolling as ungracefully as she can manage off the carpet and back on her feet she gathers her bearings in the bathroom. With a quick pep talk in the mirror for good measure, she exits with a bounce in her stride. 

Harley finds her in the gardens. The redhead’s back is turned and she can see her shaking with a chuckle as she converses with her plants. Tugging a smile on, Harley tries her hand at a greeting. 

“Mornin’, sunshine!” 

Pamela visibly stiffens and Harley immediately wishes she had eaten her words. The ice in Pamela’s exterior is not quite, but allllmost palpable. Harley finds herself unconsciously taking a step back. 

In a silence that stretched on just long enough for Harley to deem the atmosphere awkward and unbearable, Ivy replies. 

“It’s 11 am.” 

“Gasp! She speaks! There’s the wit I so dearly missed.” Harley feigns absolute bewilderment with a comical clasp of her cheeks under her palms. She can’t remove the smile that’s plastered on her face. Hoping to break Ivy’s facade with some cheer, it worked….sometimes…

Clearly Harley’s luck had long since run out. 

Ivy smiled. But it was the most visibly paining smile Harley had ever seen. Ivy’s eyes bore into the depths of Harley as her lips remained closed but slowly turned upwards at the corners? Like she was strapped down against her will and smiling was the equivalent of a shiv to the stomach. The blonde’s face crumpled in discomfort. 

Harley piped up, “So! How ya been, Red?” 

Pamela was quick to respond this time, “Check for fallen debris. Wood chips, the outdoor furniture has bore the weight of the sun for quite some time now. Fallen leaves, anything that could impede on the growth of the plants.”

Disappointed but not surprised Harley buried a sigh and stomped off in the opposite direction. Heading in route to where Ivy pointed when Harley found herself staring in disbelief. 

“Oh, and Harley?” She swiftly turned around, her face lighting up once again with a smile that she didn’t even try to conceal. 

“It’s Pamela now.” 

Kneeling back down and returning to her work, Harley once again found herself staring at her backside. Looking upwards she hummed in incredulity. Fate must think she’s real slick for pulling this one on her. At least someone gets to laugh. God, she couldn’t stand that plant fiend.


	4. why couldn't it be like that always?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! double update :) eek! flashback!

_*Five years ago* ___

__“Let’s run away together, Ives”_ _

__Ivy lifted her head up from the center of Harley’s navel. Taking a second to tuck stray hair from her face she placed two hands to rest under her chin and atop Harley’s stomach. She baited her with a smile._ _

__“What! Why are you looking at me like that? You think i’m jokin’ or somethin’?”_ _

__“Harley…”_ _

__“No no no - don’t Harley me, gorgeous! I want you! How sappy are you gonna make me get?”_ _

__She sighed. Ivy would give anything to believe her. She just simply couldn’t. Staring into the depths of Harley’s baby blues she willed the upturn of her mouth. Exuding happiness and hope shouldn’t be this painful. But to Ivy it was. Gathering herself on her elbows and reaching up to grasp her chin between her thumb and pointer finger, Ivy drew her into a kiss. Unmoving she aspired to transfer all the love she harbored for her in it. She withdrew after a few seconds._ _

__“I love you, Harls.”_ _

__“Well, duh.”_ _

__Laughing, Ivy moved up on the bed they shared. Tucking her head in the crook of Harley’s neck she breathed her in. Ivy let her arms and legs drape languidly over Harley. She traced the plains of her collarbone whilst Harley hummed in content._ _

__Ivy was many things. Stupid was not one of them. Ever since she was young she entrapped her heart with guard. She by no means had a shitty childhood. She did blame her parents for her emotional apathy though. She was allowed to do that. She grew up in the same house that they abided in, sure. She saw them, of course. But she vowed to never be neglected like that again._ _

__It was foolish. She knew that too. As long as he is around she’d never be considered her person. She just wanted to be someone’s person! No. She wanted to be _her_ person. What must Ivy do to be proven she’s worthy of love? Why can’t she be enough? She desperately wished she was. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time Harley will make the choice that she should make. The one where Ivy isn’t left in the dust. The one where they can be together. The one that doesn’t send Ivy into spirals of regret and sorrow. In the meantime maybe it wasn’t so bad to spend time with her. Besides…_ _

__Harley was the sun! Ivy couldn’t look at her without crinkling her eyes in delight. She was over the moon in her presence. And that’s all that love is, right? Feelings are complicated. She makes her smile. That’s a good thing! She and her are a good thing!_ _

__But it’s always too good to be true. It brings tears to Ivy’s eyes. Trying and failing to wipe at them without her noticing, Harley intervenes._ _

__“Hey, hey what’s with the waterworks? I didn’t even dabble in sap!”_ _

__“I’m just…so happy” the last syllables are rushed out as Ivy dives straight into a breathless chuckle._ _

__Harley wraps her arms around Ivy, pulling her on top of her person and tucking her in as close as possible._ _

__“I mean it, Red. Let’s just take off. Kitty’ll understand. I’m sure she’s sick of us pushing our tongues down each other’s throats anyway.”_ _

__Ivy blew a raspberry on her shoulder in response._ _

__“That tickles. Plus you said nothing grows in this shit town…let’s live on the beach. You know what? We could live under a bridge for all I care. I just want to be with you. Fuck. That’s not gay is it?”_ _

__She scrunched her nose up and lowered an index finger to the jut in her shoulder, “Hate to break it to you, Quinn…”_ _

__“Oh shut it, Isley.” Harley rolled them over, both of them collapsing in a fit of giggles. Ivy was underneath her now looking up. Her head positioned between Harley’s forearms. Reaching up and clasping her hands on the back of Harley’s neck she pulled her down and they met in the middle._ _

__Ivy deserves to be happy. She repeats it to herself so often it’s beginning to feel like a mantra. If Harley is the one to grant it then who is she to stand in the way?_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> length of chapters will probably fluctuate from here on out


	5. high class conversationalists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! back to present. can always just assume it's there unless i add the little italicized dates or whatever :) happy reading!!

Harley kept her eyes downcast at the dining table. She was keeping track of how many words were uttered in her presence. 

“Would you, please?” Harley looks up. Clueing into what she was saying by gesture of the hand. She passes the peas. 

Three. 

Harley tried her luck earlier with sparkling dinner conversation but she was met with silence. Iv-errr _Pamela_ was not phased by her anymore. Harley was still wrestling with whether or not that was a positive or negative thing. 

Growing sick of the sounds of methodical chewing she ruled it as a bad thing. She’d give anything for some conversation. Maybe it was an attention thing. She didn’t care she’d honestly settle for boring science-y talk. Anything was better than nothing. 

Accidentally letting loose an audible sigh, they made eye contact. Pamela broke it first but not before Harley could halt chewing to offer a small smile. And it came with no surprise to Harley - the smile was not returned.

Three words still…

Her day was filled with she would call grunt work. That is, if she had to categorize it. Pamela had her do what Harley deemed to be meaningless tasks. Walk the grounds, (for what exactly?) categorize bugs she saw (why?), and try to research the brand of paint on the fence (unbelievable, really). 

Harley was all for doing her fair share of work, earning her stay, you know - paying her dues but it’s a little difficult to not be frustrated when she is reduced to counting caterpillars. 

There was one moment where Harley almost fooled herself into thinking she had a hold on friendship. Pamela had waved her over, and giddily, Harley had appeared by her side only to be asked to fetch a garden tool from her shed. 

Now that was a conversation. Harley applauded herself for managing to wrestle at least 20 words out of her. it took pretending not to know what a gardening fork was…”What’s that Pamela? The little tiny hand rake? Or the scooper thingy?” 

Exasperated, and clearly on the verge of giving up, Pam brushed off her hands on her pants and made an effort to stand but Harley quickly patted her down by the shoulder. She removed her hand once Pamela met her eyes and irked her head down to look at the offending grasp on her shoulder. Harley, akin to being burned, revoked her touch and ran off to the shed, shouting assurances over her shoulder that she was in fact capable of fetching a garden tool. 

She didn’t see the small chuckle Pamela couldn’t help but let out. 

Harley made a game of staring her down from across the table. Her next move would have been to see who would be the first to break eye contact and the next, logically being who would crack a smile. They didn’t make it past step one. Harley bore her eyes on Pamela, Willing her to look up, do something, actually! She could flip her off and Harley would sing praises at her feet. 

Harley looked down. Absently listening to Pamela’s chair scraping the floor and her dish being rinsed.  
“Goodnight” Harley looked up only to catch Pam’s fleeting shadow making its way down the hall. 

Four words. 

After forking a mouthful she sighs. Putting away her dish she locks herself away in the bathroom and rinses off the grime of the day. 

Reaching her hand out to swipe the gathered condensation on the mirror she stares at her reflection. 

Lost in thought, she traces her collarbone. 

She’s a different person now. She assures herself because she needs to hear it. She half wishes someone else was as assuring. The thought that it could come from the notorious ‘clown prince’ of crime is laughable. She’d rather be consoled by the likes of a dead fish. Harley hates that she remembers everything. 

She always chose him. She was so helplessly hypnotized by him and she can’t understand why. She wishes she could. She doesn’t understand why she can’t. 

She thinks she shouldn’t feel sorry for herself, she doesn’t want to feel sorry for herself but she thinks of all the lost time where she could have been…she doesn’t know maybe planting her own fucking garden! 

She flings the bathroom door open and heads off to her makeshift living space. Dropping her towel and tugging a too big t-shirt over her head she hurls herself onto the couch. 

-

Pamela is awoken to clanging in the kitchen. Mentally preparing herself for the painful interactions she braves her first steps outside her door only to be assaulted by the smell of pancakes. Making her way to the kitchen, she finds Harley has made quite the mess of it. 

“Good moooooring, Pamela! Couldn’t really sleep so I figured I’d get an early start! Made us some pancakes!” Harley disrupts the silent morning with flare. 

“Morning.” Pamela just audibly retorts and makes her way around the kitchen, to the fridge, palms a green colored beverage, and passes Harley without another word. 

Harley awaits until the door swings shut to hang her head. What does a girl gotta do? She’s starting to think nothing will make that plant succumbs happy. Harley had not lost her temper ONCE. She feels it’s only deserving of a little recognition. Pamela was her best friend. Why won’t she let her back in?

Suddenly surging with anger in the bounds of her unrequited wishes for friendship, Harley throws the spatula in the sink and follows Pamela outside. Stomping her way into the garden she finds her studying some plants on the lattice in the corner where her house ends and her hedges begin. 

Reaching her hand out, she grips Pamela’s shoulder and spins her around to face her, effectively trapped between a wall of green, the house, and Harley she has no choice but to stand there and listen. 

If Harley weren’t absolutely fuming she’d find the look of shock on Pam’s face comical. 

“What’s your DEAL?! I’ve been nothing but fucking roses and sunshine for you these past few days! What’s your fucking problem, Pamela?!”

“I-“

“Is it because you didn’t know I was comin’? Did Batman not tell you? Because from where I was standin’ it sure looked like he told you!” Harley inches closer and closer until the only thing in her field of view is Pamela’s unreadable gaze.

“Har-“

Unable to lower her voice or even her tone, Harley continued to bombard her, “Why the FUCK are you not talking to me?! We haven’t seen each other in YEARS! You’re not even a little curious as to what I’ve been up to?! If me being up too much in your plant shit is the problem then I’m sorry, I’m just doing my best not to be sent to a fucking penitentiary. I’m doing everything I can, I’m just trying to be a good friend.” 

Pamela takes a step forward, off of the wall she was involuntarily plastered against and with as much cold as she can muster spits out, “I didn’t ask to be your friend.” 

Pushing past her, Pamela disappeared into her greenhouse leaving Harley scorched and unmoving on the stone path facing the lattice. 

Harley blinked. Physically unable to move she smoothed her hands over her face and let out an exasperated grunt. 

Finally removing herself she goes inside and makes work of removing her mess in the kitchen. Mumbling profanities and nonsensical things that she is certain would not please Pamela to hear. 

-

Pamela bumped past her. She shouldered her out of the way equivalent to a stranger on public transport. Leaving her there and gaping, she made her way to her greenhouse. It was a long walk through green and it sat overlooking the lake. Hands outstretched to brush idle lavender and bugle herb she walked with eyes fixed on the floor beneath her.

Upon entering the greenhouse, she followed routine, checking in on her babies, logging growth, pulling at a chair she eventually sat. 

Silently she began to trace the lines of her desk, delaying her reach for the top drawer. 

Finally giving in she slowly pulled it open revealing a frame lying face down atop loads of paperwork. She grabbed it by its hinges and laid it out before her, still face down. 

She just stared at the frames outline, unwilling to move it for the time being. She knew Harley’s words that were scribbled on the back of what resides inside. 

Reaching out she flipped it over. 

There, within the confines of the frame sat Harley, Selina, and herself. 

With Harley and Pam situated in the front, Selina was positioned atop the bench seat in the back resting her chin where Pamela’s and Harley’s faces met. Harley had both of her hands on the opposite side of Pam’s face, posing with a kiss to the cheek closest. Pamela had the goofiest grin plastered on even with the side of her face absolutely smushed into Harley’s. 

All three of them looked so happy, were so happy. Pamela wasn’t even aware that her eyes started to blur until she felt the wet drippings on her forearms.


	6. egg-citing endeavors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hi! flashback time!
> 
> ALSO!!! Taylor swift's album - Folklore. Betty. I'm making it the anthem of this fic. It's perfect.

_*Five years and Four months ago*_

Ivy watched her skip into the 24 hour mart trailing a few steps behind Selina. 

As she reached for the volume dial she caught glimpse of Harley turning just before she entered to wave and blow a kiss her way. She must’ve been shooed over by Selina because she was gone in an instant. 

Laughing to herself Pamela feigned interest in fiddling with the radio stations. 

Not until after the length of a song passed did she realize she was still grinning. 

Interrupting her and her thoughts, Selina and Harley reemerged from the store and knocked on the window requesting to be let in. Selina shoved Harley into the back and plopped herself next to Ivy, three cartons of eggs in hand. 

Letting out a laugh Ivy looked at Selina who returned a mischievous smile. 

Backing out and heeding directions from Selina, Ivy made her way to the Wayne Manor. Harley’s whining had since dissipated, annoyance from being pushed to the back seemingly forgotten as she requested for the volume of the music to be increased. 

Ivy was shouldering the weight of Selina’s woes regarding Bruce when she felt hands wrapping in her hair. 

Grateful for the darkness in the vehicle to conceal her grin she allowed Harley to continue uninterrupted. Selina as well but she was remorseful to admit she did not abide as much attention to her as she did the wandering hands behind her. 

Ivy was the happiest she had been in awhile. Selina, Harley, and herself had banded together and had been practically inseparable. 

She knew of both of them before of course, all of them knew of each other. They all had their entanglements with the bat, just up until now they all had existed on different paths. Now that wasn’t so much the case. Selina to her left and Harley in the rear, and Batman be damned. 

Ivy had never considered herself a feelings type of (meta)human. She felt she harnessed more of a ‘fuck the world’ type of energy but she allowed herself to award that title to Selina after she was properly acquainted with her. And Harley…Harley was like nothing she’d ever met before. She was the brightest individual in the universe. She was smitten with her and it was the most terrifying thing. 

Just thinking about it made her heart so heavy. She felt her stomach being weighed down. 

Ivy had plenty of experience with relationships in the past. She just couldn’t place the feelings that arose when she was with Harley. It was new and foreign. And it scared her to death. 

Harley is far from perfect but so is Ivy. 

Ivy has never had the resist the urge to keep her hands off of a person so frequently. She starts to classify it as a problem, it’s every waking second. And it’s not just that. She’s always thinking of her. This is literally exhibit a! She’s driving about in Gotham, 1/3 of a girl pack, and she’s helpless when it comes to wandering thoughts of her. 

Ivy will pour her tea and laugh when remembering when Harley once slandered ‘hot flavored water’. She’ll open her book and think of when Harley bursted into her room begging to smell one of her novels. Nose deprived she had said, and Selina’s magazines didn’t match the fix that Ivy’s classics did. Ivy would reach her hands behind her back to clip her bra and feel flush at the thought of it on the floor due to the actions of a certain someone. 

She thinks relationships may have been too generous of a classification. (To her) Relationships in the sense, are the interactions with other individuals that amount to the experiences shared, the feelings built and the perceptions constructed. She has plenty of relationships just not as many with a romantic aspect. 

Ivy was no stranger to one night stands. She was no stranger to second dates either but those were far less common. She’d argue she is no less emotionless than she is emotional but then again she could be biased. 

Harley made her feel. That’s the extent of what she could unpack. That’s as much as she could unpack. If stolen stares and rushed make-outs and evenings spent yearning to be together meant anything she equated it to being able to feel. 

When she woke up in the mornings she wasn’t miserable. Her inner monologue scoffs at the stupidity in that statement. But in all honesty she hadn’t really had a proper exposure to ‘happiness’ like, as a feeling. 

The way her heart soars when she hears that overbearing accent. When she can’t resist tucking away stray bleach blond hairs when they take up space on her effervescent face and when she allows herself to be in the arms of another without clamming up or closing up. Harley means happiness to her. 

She snapped out of it when she felt fingers trace the back of her neck. Ivy looked up at the roof of the car and let out a low rumble. But she felt hands retreat with the shrill coming from Selina’s voice. 

“Woah! Hello?! Eyes on the road, dumbass.” 

Ivy said nothing just cleared her throat quite audibly. 

“I hardly think Bruce’s emotional unavailability is a laughing matter. What’s up with you Ivy?” Selina teased. She playfully bumped at her arm and rested her own atop the bench seat. Completely facing her body towards Ivy in the drivers seat. She shot a look to the back too, allowing Harley, who had been awfully quiet, to perceive that Selina wasn’t as clueless as they originally made her out to be. 

Ivy looked over and hastily responded “Nothing, nothing. Remind me why we’re doing this again?”

“One day when you’re tending to your plants all adorable and whatnot; free of any worry i’m going to murder you. Bruce stood me up AGAIN. You’d think when you’re quite literally a billionaire and CEO of the most successful business in what seems like the entire earth you could get some dummy to fill in for you at board meetings! Bruce is so hands-on-“

Harley chuckled at that and Selina continued after a glare, “…it’s infuriating.” 

“Right. He doesn’t like, kill the environment for fun, right?” Harley quipped up in the back and Ivy shot a peak in the rearview mirror above her. She was met with crinkled eyes and a tilt of the head. 

“No. He possesses a moral compass but no emotional aptitude I suppose!” Selina perked up in a false sense of cheer. 

Ivy once again sought out eye contact with Harley in the mirror. She returned her smile and reached out to place her hand on Selina’s thigh, and addressed Harley “We’re here for moral support, dear.” 

Selina grabbed Ivy’s hand, squeezed it once, and gestured to a spot to place the car. 

They all hopped out, Ivy and Selina clad in all black whereas Harley opted for a more colorful look. 

Selina deadpanned, “Must have forgotten to send you a memo.” 

“What? These are my heistin’ tights!” 

Ivy laughed but awkwardly transitioned it to a clearing of throat when Selina snapped her head at her. 

Selina led the way to the front gates and Harley and Ivy fell into stride together trailing a few steps behind her. 

Harley lowered her voice before whispering to Ivy but keeping her gaze on Selina, “Yikes. Someone’s catty.” 

Ivy humored her regardless, “I wonder when that joke will get old.” 

“Already has.” Selina shot out with her back turned. But it didn’t take long before she looked back with a smirk.

They walked the remainder of the way mostly in silence, although Harley did break it several times to complain about the distance. To which Selina retaliated each time. Ivy figures it won’t take a genius detective to single out the culprit of a house egging, especially given Selina and Bruce’s track record but she stays silent, for Selina’s sake. 

Harley does snake out her hand to grasp Ivy’s. And she lets her. 

Once they arrive at the gate, Selina scales the fence and hops over looking at them expectantly. 

Ivy drops Harley’s hand and in return hears a small whimper. She makes contact with the greenery, allowing for vines to reach down and wrap themselves around the two girls before lifting them up and over where they are placed next to Selina and concealed in the darkness and shrubbery. 

Selina holds eye contact with Ivy, “Finally, I was growing impatient” 

Harley elbows Ivy playfully, grinning “Ha! Red! ‘Growing’ get it?”

Ivy lets out a small exhale from her nose, absolutely free of contempt she nods at the blonde unable to suppress the smile. 

Selina rolls her eyes, turns her back and begins their walk towards the manor, egg cartons in hand. 

As Ivy and Harley fall into stride once more she can’t help but think this whole ordeal is a bit juvenile. But then again Harley did gift her a beanie baby just yesterday. So she opts to keep her thoughts to herself. 

“Okay this mansion is fucking huge, let’s split up, let’s hit every window. I want him to be annoyed when he makes the call to pay someone to clean it up.” Selina hastily turned and relayed to both Harley and Ivy. 

All three of them unmoving, Selina stared at Harley until she got the message to head off. 

She watched until she deemed her out of ear shot and set her gaze on Ivy. 

They both just stared. Ivy, falling into discomfort averted her eyes and that’s when Selina chose to speak up. 

“I’ll have you know I’ve got perfect eyesight.” 

Ivy scoffed, “I’ve never questioned your seeing capabilities, Selina.” 

“I’m saying there is nothing impeding my ability to see. Look! Just over there! It’s a tree! Gasp! and could it be underneath us? Ivy! It’s grass!” Selina exaggerated quite dramatically.

“Spare me. What’s your point?” Ivy placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head. 

“Just never knew blondes did it for you is all.” 

Growing self conscious Ivy moved her arms towards herself, cupping her elbows and giving rise to her shoulders, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sensing the infliction in her voice but still barreling onward Selina quipped, “You two are adorable. On the Christmas card where will each of you stand when prom-posing?”

“I- It’s not like that. She’s just, Harley.” 

“Poetry. Your prose has always been a thing of beauty.”

Raising her arms in exasperation Ivy frustratingly relays, “Where’s this coming from? You made it very clear when I-”

“Be careful, Ivy. He’s never fully out of the picture. You know that. Don’t put yourself through hell again. You remember as well as I do what happened the first time.” Selina turned to walk in the opposite direction. 

“It’s different this time. I appreciate your concern, I do. But I trust her, I know her.” 

Selina stopped dead in her tracks to face Ivy, voice rising and pausing, “Yeah? Well I know you. I don’t want to see you hurt, Pamela.”

Visibly startled she responds, “Haven’t heard that in awhile.” 

“I figured maybe she was more willing to listen to reason.”

Both too defeated to say anything they maintain eye contact until Selina sighs. 

“I’m with you forever, Ives. Can you say the same thing about her?” 

That gets Ivy to look away. 

Selina continues on her route and leaves Ivy in silence accompanied by her carton. 

Watching her off, Ivy opts to head towards the gardens, there’s a clear path marked by hedges and holly bushes. 

She greets the vegetation with solace. 

She wrestles with her thoughts, reassuring them that she is quite literally a genius. She doesn’t need to heed advice from a woman who’s on-again off-again flame is victim of the house they’re literally there to vandalize. 

She’s a woman of science. But when messy human principles are at play there is only so much she has to fall back on. 

She likes that for once she doesn’t really have to think. She sees Harley and it comes easy. Her heart gets this little energetic bump and she itches to be close to her. She actually doesn’t even have to see Harley. She can just think of her. 

It’s so…human.

While at once Ivy would renounce the notion of growing mushy for an individual now it’s kind of nice. 

“Ha! Knew I’d find you here.” The silence is disturbed by the likes of the girl she was just thinking about. 

“I’m that predictable?” Ivy doesn’t have to turn to know who it is. It could only be one person. That thick accent helps but ultimately wouldn’t even make a difference when it comes to identifying her.

Harley snakes her arms around Ivy’s midsection, “It’s what I love about you.”

The ‘L’ word still takes some getting used to. It’s not like she outright said it of course but Ivy can’t help but yearn to connect the dots. 

Ivy takes her hands and uses them to cup Harley’s forearms. 

She lulls the both of them into a slow swing before removing herself from Harley’s grasp. But not without a small vocal protest from the blonde. Ivy turns to face her and the smile that takes over her face manages to hurt her cheekbones. 

“Dance with me.” 

“Pardon? Red, you hate dancing.” 

“But I don’t hate you.” 

Ivy pulls Harley’s hands and places them on her own hips. She raises her arms until her hands meet in a clasp behind Harley’s neck. 

They sway. Slowly turning not having to worry about a beat. The only thing to keep track of their rhythm is the water cascading in the numerous fountains. Their peripherals are filled with an abundance of foliage and pristine statues lining the floorspace of the spacious grounds. 

They’d be quite the site to behold if they didn’t only have eyes for one another. 

The moon was bright. Like, obnoxiously bright. So much so that Ivy would have normally not rested until she had an explanation but the way it lit up Harley’s face was enough to make her forget.

Ivy moved her hands to cup the sides of her neck, neither stopping their slow paced dance, Ivy began using her thumb to lightly trace the edges of Harley’s jaw. 

“You’re real special to me, Red.” 

“I know, Harley. I know.”

She’d be lying to herself if she claimed those were the exact words she wanted to hear.  
It didn’t stop her from pulling her in closer. 

Harley did the rest, she pulled her in by her hips, eliminating the space between them, making for easy access to her mouth. 

Like what came before - the kiss was slow. Meaningful, sensual, ‘L’ word (-ing).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have kind of been just writing as i go. while doing so i kind of.. may have.. strayed from the chapter outline plan. this was something not originally in the picture but i'm glad it is now. see y'all soon <3


	7. bookshelf recall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much plot just personal crisis really

Harley waltzes her fingers along the bookshelf. She jumps from spine to spine in no particular rush. 

Pamela has mellowed out. Kind of. She’ll make eye contact with her which is a plus. She won’t really speak to her so that might be categorized as a minus…

But! She gave Harley her own planting bed! Whether that’s so they can operate entirely independently OR if Pamela is instilling more trust she doesn’t want to think about. Mostly because she’s scared that she knows the answer. 

That night where she cornered Pam hadn’t panned out the way she expected it to. She knows she shoulders most of the blame but yeesh…

Harley stiffens a bit but keeps her back to the door when she hears it swing open. 

The silence is broken by Pam, “What are you doing?” 

That’s the first coherent sentence since the confrontation. Harley was glad Pam couldn’t see her face, there was a small smirk on it, “Remember when you used to read to me?”

“I remember a lot of things.”

“Mostly good stuff I hope.”

Harley continued lightly tracing the spines lining the wall. Pamela did little but inhale.

“You know…I never really had a favorite. Just liked hearing you I guess.”

Pamela shrugged off her jacket, “You never told me that." 

“Better late than never?” 

Pam had been frozen in the same spot for the entirety of the conversation. Harley tries her luck with facing her. 

Harley piped up again, “No one was ever as passionate about books as you. You even made old-timey textbooks somewhat enjoyable! Who does that?”

“Lots of people admire classic literature, Harley. I happ-“

“See? You little book nerd!” Harley found herself walking over seemingly to provoke the redhead more before she thought better of it and let herself fizzle out on the couch. Plopping down she placed her chin in her hands and watched as Pam struggled to find words or a response she deemed appropriate for this totally normal conversation between two adults. 

Pam made hand gestures and opened and closed her mouth a few times. Harley released a giggle. 

Pamela huffed off dawning a just-barely-there smile. 

\- 

Pamela’s cottage sports a back door down the long hallway. She’s never had much use for it. Before she’d allocate it as a last resort, a means of escape should she find herself cornered. Now it was a blue painted door that overlooked the fields of grass leading to the water. Along the path directly outside is her greenhouse. 

Pamela had rarely had use for her back door. 

It’s not like that anymore. 

She waits until the middle of the night. It's not like she was deep in slumber, anyway. Pamela finds herself slipping on her robe and lightly easing her door open. She hears Harley’s audible breathing in the living room and with that she turns towards the blue door. With the hallway carpet concealing the impressions of her footsteps she squeezes out into the back. Careful not to open the door too wide because of its creeky hinges. 

She blindly reaches out feeling the wall for its switch. Flicking on the yard lights she makes her way around the house until she reaches the planters out front. Peeking in the window she sees Harley’s legs draped over the couch. With the windows granted field of view she expected to see the top of a blonde head but, no. 

Pamela kneels down to examine the bed of soil. Channeling herself she connects with the green and wills the saplings to take root and grow. 

Sighing and brushing off her palms she places her hands on the edges of the planter and moves to stand back up. 

“You babes just needed a gentle nudge. Too closed off, huh?” She beams at the bed of soil.

She meanders around the yard, arms crossed, head lowered and seemingly interested in the spores aligning the paths. 

Pamela measures her steps, each foot landing on the darkest brick with every stride.

She doesn’t want to be emotionally boarded up. Other people made her this way. Her environment, if you will. 

She has been told that she’s callous. 

While at once she could sit and think of the reasons as to why (while obviously fronting with a stony exterior). Maybe it had something to do with like the few murders checkering her past…She shrugs it off.

Now she doesn’t mind much what others say come to think of it.

She finally looks straight ahead. She must’ve been walking for longer than she thought. She’s already at the water. 

Harley would have ripped off her clothes and dove in at the site of it. Never mind the fact that it’s freezing out and the water is dark enough to lose herself in. Harley wouldn’t mind it.

No. She has to stop doing that. Thinking in the past. It’s stupid and it’s bound to hurt her eventually. 

Pamela also excels at the art of lying to herself. It pains her now. Now, as in the present. 

This all seems very melodramatic to her. Who is she? Walking around in the dead of night, thinking to herself, talking to herself, pondering her hardships and emotional wellbeing. Her next move would be to skip stones, maybe break into a ballad. Harley would laugh at that. 

Grunting she opts to kick a rock into the water lapping near her feet. Fuck her projected hypotheticals. Nothing can change the past. No matter how different humans may seem they’re still just humans. 

Selina and her made a pact to not allow mushy sacks of flesh to dictate their lives. Codependence - she can’t even imagine. 

No more feelings would have been ideal but they’re not too out of touch. 

What even is the point of interpersonal relationships if not for the inevitable demise? What made her see differently in the past? She knows that she is the way she is now because of the experiences that shaped her. All of the dots on the timeline illuminating and characterizing her past, no question. 

But she has to wonder what the tipping point really was. 

That summer she was different. If she were to meet _that_ summer Pamela she wouldn’t recognize her. 

She sighs. Maybe she’s being melodramatic again. That’s what Selina would say. 

All this rambling about the dismissal of codependence and she can’t even think for herself. 

Screw it. She picks up a rock and hurls it as far as she can into the pitch black depths. 

She throws another. And another. She keeps grabbing at them, as many as she can. One after the other. It doesn’t end until she lets out a scream. 

Frustrated to no end she sits. Running her hands through her hair that’s escaped her updo she eventually settles them on the back of her neck. 

She’s not who she used to be. She reminds herself of that. She’s not the student or the villainess or the lovesick fool. 

She watches the slow bob of the water. It’s comforting that there seems to be no end. It’s just a pool of substance stretching on forever. Almost unmoving but not quite. The rocking is soothing and the sounds are gentle and reassuring. 

It’s time to move on. 

She was made like this but she’s in control now. That’s more than enough comfort to get her through this arrangement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good stuff coming soon :)


	8. backseat shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! light smut in this one. watch out. 
> 
> also a song i love to listen to when thinking about flashbacks or daydreaming ab hypotheticals in my own life is 'i miss that feeling' by tennis. gorgeous song and just makes me feel remorseful and reminiscent and all that good stuff. 
> 
> enjoy!! this is same night as the infamous egging endeavor btw.

_*Five years and four months ago*_

Harley gasped as Ivy suddenly swung her leg over Harley’s lap effectively straddling her thighs in-between hers. 

Ivy was crouched on top of her, drawing slow circles on Harley’s neck with her tongue. 

Harley began frantically stripping Ivy of her button up. Pausing to apologize after seeing the offended face above her for ripping the seams but she was quickly silenced by Ivy’s mouth zeroing in on hers. 

Never one to lose momentum and squander an opportune moment, Ivy began sliding off Harley’s tights. She pulled back and was greeted with a whimper. Ivy laughed but quickly gripped Harley’s hips encouraging her to raise them so she could shimmy the offending article of clothing off of her body. 

They didn’t make it out of the car. They pulled off of the road a bit after parting ways with Selina. If Harley squints she can faintly see the fluorescent lights of a department store somewhere off in the distance. Come to think of it this was kind of an eerie scene. Gotham’s a bit run down she supposes but since when did road lights go extinct? 

That’s when Ivy decided to roll her hips. Harley’s brain went mushy for a second. 

Grabbing at the back of Ivy’s neck she pulled her mouth into hers. 

Ivy pulled back yet again (much to the chagrin of Harley) and hastily yanked Harley’s top of her and flung it into the backseat. 

Surging forward again Harley relished in the presence of Ivy’s tongue in her mouth. 

This time caught Harley by surprise. Of course they’ve had rushed make-outs and heavy petting but this…this was different. Ivy is moving on top of her like she might explode if Harley didn’t diffuse her. 

It’s almost as if Ivy knew exactly what she was thinking. Things slowed down. She began to run her hands up Harley’s forearms. She pulled away and stared at Harley as she reached the hands clasped behind her neck. Slowly removing them she pulled them off of her and placed them respectively on Harley’s sides. 

Neither of them broke eye contact. The corners of Ivy’s lips twisted upwards.  
She sunk to the floor, parting Harley’s legs wordlessly. 

She ran her hands up and down the insides of Harley’s thighs. And then she replaced her hands with kisses. She threw in a few nips and her ears were attuned to Harley’s just barely audible gasps. 

Harley’s view was unobstructed. The steady stream of whatever 60’s radio throwback station was filling the car with raspy recordings and an ensemble of instruments. The blue light illuminating the car radio kept Ivy aglow. Her back was to it but Harley felt her every move.

And just below the sound she could hear Ivy’s whispers into her skin. She was too wound up to decipher it and as soon as Ivy reached Harley’s middle her thoughts evaporated. 

Harley was the first to break eye contact, it was when her head whipped back. Her eyes were closed but had they been open she would have been staring at the gray upholstery lining the roof of the car. 

Ivy was agonizingly slow at first, alternating between lightly kissing her thighs. 

Then without warning she placed her mouth on her. 

Ivy gripped and lapped and Harley mewed at the way the girl on her knees was subconsciously keeping pace with the music. She couldn’t ponder for long because once she made her way up to Harley’s most sensitive spot, all she heard was static.

Ivy lifted Harley’s right leg over her shoulder and hitched the other one atop the bench seat. 

Then she added her fingers. Harley was very audible at that point. She reached above and placed her palms on the roof above them. Whether she was aware of it or not she was rising her hips to allow Ivy all of the accessibility she could want. 

They could read each other quite easily. But there’s no need for that when Harley voices her nearness to the edge. She would describe Ivy as utterly enthused to help her reach it. 

Harley’s breath hitches and releases the sound she had trapped within her chest. Ivy helps her down from her high with long, flat swipes of her tongue. 

“Ivy, wow. Let’s egg some dude’s house every night from now on.”

Ivy snorted. She pulled Harley’s leg off of her and joined her in seating. Thanks to the absence of a center console Ivy had her body angled completely towards Harley. Placing her arm atop the bench seat she reached out and tucked a strand behind the other girls ear. Harley, who’s posture had fallen slack with legs spread, arms limp and head resting upwardly, swiveled her neck to look at Ivy. 

Harley spoke up again, “I’m serious, red,” She paused to snicker. “That was egg-cellent.” 

Ivy groaned and ran her palm across her face, stretching the right side in showy annoyance. “You just couldn’t help yourself could you?”

“Ives! I’m not eggs-aggerating!”

Ivy cracked (ha!). With her fist supporting her head by placement on her cheek she humored Harley, “Don’t yolk with me, Quinn” 

Harley squealed. 

“Is it weird that I’ve never wanted to jump your bones more than in this moment?” 

Ivy reached out and nudged Harley’s shoulder. It was light but ever one for theatrics, Harley treated it like a shove. She gasped as she let her body fall horizontal on the bench seat. Ivy let the laugh bubble out of her and quickly followed Harley suit in her horizontal arrangement. Ivy supported herself by disposition of her arms on either side of the girl smiling up at her. 

Through her smile Harley spoke to the girl suspended on top of her, “Just so you know…omeletin’ this slide on account of how smokin’ you are.” 

Ivy’s head dropped into the crux of Harley’s neck in giggles. Her arms gave out and Ivy found herself laying atop Harley.

Muffled, but decipherable nonetheless Ivy let out, “You’re unbelievable” 

“Eggs-actly. And don’t forget it babe.” 

Pamela trailed her finger up and down Harley’s exposed side, “I didn’t know you were so fond of puns. I can hardly fathom that this is the first I’m hearing of the sorts. You’re lucky i’m so fond of you. Because if Selina were to hear about this pun enthusiast side of you i’m certain she would demand for the immediate packing of your bags.” 

Harley chuckled lightly. “Speaking of…Selina was a little off tonight, yeah?” 

The trailing on her side stopped.

Harley took it as a sign to elaborate, “I just mean she looked like she wanted me to disintegrate.” 

Silence, still. 

Harley kept at it, “When is she gonna treat me like a human being again?” 

Ivy’s heart gripped in her chest. 

“I guess my real question is why isn’t she treating me like one?”

Ivy knew the answer to that. Harley couldn’t be that clueless… could she?

Ivy’s voice skirted the level of a whisper, “She’s just looking out for me.”

Harley awkwardly angled and tucked her chin to look down. To which she only saw the crown of hair resting and unmoving, “Ives. It’s me.”

“It’s always been Selina and I. She’s hard-headed. Stubborn.”

Harley knows she throws a wrench in their dynamic but she thinks they get on just fine. Maybe even harmoniously but apparently she may be the only one to think so. 

Harley wiggled out from underneath Ivy so she could sit up. “Well now it’s you and I, right?” 

Ivy sat up. Both upright and staring at each other with enough space between them that it would be difficult to make body contact. 

Ivy’s eyebrows knit together. The question felt loaded. Of course it’s them. It’s them right now! It was them three fucking minutes ago. But Selina wasn’t the one who abandoned her. Selina has always been there, will always be there. 

“What do you want to hear?”

Harley scoffed. “Well not that. How about some reassurance?? Jesus Ives i’m not asking you to choose but it’d be nice of you to have my back for once.” 

Now Ivy was teetering on the brink of anger, not so much confusion. Unbelievability, more like. 

The infliction cut through her voice, “You’re the one who left _me_. Is that something you just happened to forget?”

Raising her hands and shaking her head in exasperation Harley raised her voice to match Ivy’s, “Yeah well I’m here now! That’s gotta count for somethin’” 

Silence again. Ivy wishes she was at a loss for words but in reality, she knows exactly what she’d say. 

Harley is staring out the window voicing her thoughts to the dark ahead of them, practically in a whisper, “You don’t trust me.” 

Ivy looks down at her lap. Tongue in cheek and head bobbing Harley begins to redress. Ivy starts the car. 

Silence for the ride home. The music supplies a false sense of cheer. 

The second they pull in Harley is out of the car. And Ivy is left in the dark. 

Absently it crosses her mind that she’s supposed to be the one mad. She wonders why the only thing she can feel is helplessness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am truly sorry. things must get worse before they get better. but in this case it's varying by flashback/present so maybe not as bad...? just think! happy ending happy ending


	9. growing, growing, gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. will try to make the time jumps less confusing from now on. back to the present! 
> 
> enjoy!

**PRESENT DAY**

Harley jumped out of bed. _Correction: couch._

She hums whilst getting ready. Pam says it’s the day she can finally see some growth in her soil. She’s sure to assure her that there’s always growth, never mind the fact that she can’t see it…but…whatever. 

She throws on some shorts and reps her faded college tee before stepping outside. 

Just as she suspected! Pamela is already there. Floppy sun hat and all. Great, fantastic, she wants to see her. Sure! Yup. Yup. She doesn’t know who she’s even trying to convince now.

Harley hops off the landing, clearing the two stairs and makes her way down the path to her very own planter. Pamela is whispering to the trunk of a tree. Laughing maybe?

As she toes from brick to brick on the ground she tightens her low hanging pigtails. 

She’s about to say something when just then Pamela looks up and offers a tightlipped smile in greeting. 

Wordless but, hey! Acknowledgment is better than nothing. 

Harley digs her hands in her pockets and smiles back. 

She reaches her planter and drops to her knees to get a better glance. 

“Look how far Planty has grown!” 

Harley nearly jumps out of her skin. It can’t be… Pamela Isley conversing with her…and all on her _own_ accord!? 

Harley has since waited longer than the appropriate amount of time to communicate a response but she just had to collect her bearings. Big things! First Planty is giving Jack’s beanstalk a run for its money and now dear Pamela acknowledged her presence. And for the second time today!

Harley had her hands resting on the planter and her chin perched atop in awe of her very own plants development. 

“He’s a fighter,” Harley now directed her words at the plant in front of her, “aren’t ya little guy?”

Pamela released a hum of approval and Harley looked up this time to speak to her. 

“I’ll tell ya Pammie. After I gave this guy a taste of my lemonade I wasn’t sure if he was gonna-“

Pamela let out a pained high pitched sound. 

“-keep at it!” 

Harley went back to staring at her growing spurt while Pamela clenched her hands, effectively digging her fingernails into her palms.  
-

Pamela deemed Harley looked satisfied enough so she turned on her heel ready to resume exactly where she was with her plants when the girl she left behind let out a screech. 

An ear shattering, world rippling equivalent of a sound that had Pamela turning back and running over as quickly as possible. 

“WHAT?! HARLEY, WHAT IS IT?!” 

Harley was now on the floor (aside her planter) and had her eyes screwed shut. She was cradling her hand against her chest. Pamela dropped to her knees running her hands anywhere they could take purchase on Harley. 

Still silent, yet now sporting a pout, Harley had finally opened her eyes. Pam’s hands were now positioned on both sides of her face. 

Pamela kept hurriedly scouting Harley for anything she could find. She pulled her unmoving form onto her lap and haphazardly brushed the pieces of hair framing her face. 

Pamela kept questioning what caused so much distress for Harley to finally release her hand and show Pamela the cause of her suffering. 

A small, red bump on her thumb. A bee sting. 

They looked at each other, Harley watching front and center as the worry melted from Pamela’s face. And she began laughing. 

Harley’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Pamela’s were shaped in disbelief for the girl under her. 

Pamela removed the girl from her suspended position on her lap and stood. Still smiling she reached her hand down, palm up, signaling for Harley to stand as well. 

Still cradling her ‘injured’ hand to her chest she reached out with the other and joined Pamela on her feet. They both began walking towards the house. 

Pamela heeded all of Harley’s audible groans of pain while trying her best to keep a straight face. Until the sounds stopped all together. 

She looked over at the girl next to her and hadn’t noticed that she had absently placed her hand on the small of Harley’s back. 

Yanking it away immediately - she quickened her stride. Hoping Harley would assume that she was simply trying to grab the first aid kit in a more hasty manner. 

Neither of the girls said anything. It leaves Pamela with an uneasy pit in her stomach. 

Swinging the door wide open for them both she motions Harley to sit on the couch while she continues in search of the first aid kit. 

Finding it pristinely stacked amongst her products in the bathroom she returns to find Harley sitting on the floor, back pressed against the foot of the couch. 

Pamela joins her. 

“Let me see it.” 

Harley whines. But thrusts her hand towards Pamela and shuts her eyes in anticipation of pain. 

Pamela takes Harley’s hand in hers and fishes out the remnants of the sting. Harley squirms. 

Pamela thinks it’s a marvel at how little pain tolerance this girl has. She quickly writes off that thought as she remembers Harley’s freckled past. She thinks better of mentioning it. 

She looks up from the thumb of the girl to see shiny eyes staring intensely at her. 

Pamela rubs her own thumb over Harley’s freshly cleaned wound and without even thinking brings it up to her lips. 

She can’t recall hearing breathing before but she certainly doesn’t hear it now. 

The air stills and instead of releasing Harley’s hand, she keeps it in the grasp of her own as they both just stare at each other. 

Both of their eyes have blown as wide as humanely possible, along with Harley’s jaw gone slack. 

_Surely she should say something now…?_

“I-“

“It’s fine!” 

Harley cuts her off. And gently pulls her own hand back to her chest. Pamela lets her own offending ones fall in her lap. 

She looks anywhere but at Harley. Not knowing what came over her she cannot even begin to reason. Much less begin to reason aloud. 

She’s had enough of silence. It’s ruled the entire weeks of their living arrangement. But she can’t for the life of her summon any words. 

Maybe somewhere in choosing to expunge the past of heartbreak she’s forgotten basic human interactions…

Desperate for a rationalization to voice she quickly sets aside the idea of simply being a human being with needs. That would never hold up. Besides it’s not true. Definitely not. Well, unlikely at the very least. 

This may be the first time ever that the girl next to her is at a loss for words. That’s really saying something. 

“I’m gonna go-“ Pamela gestures towards the open door. She’s got her eyes fixed on the polka dot socks peeking out from Harley’s shoes. 

“Mmmhmm” Harley sounds. 

So that’s where she leaves her. On the floor. Unmoving and silent. Hand pressed to her chest. Eyes blown wide and cheeks flushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my fav drama queen. 
> 
> ALSO! have a bunch of ideas for harlivy one shots that i've just recently gotten started on - look out for those! :)


End file.
